A firefighter birthday, or maybe not

How thrilled I was when dd (turning 4) said she wanted to have a firefighter-themed birthday. I thought of all the fun we could have and how we could buck the gender stereotypes all at the same time. She sat on my lap and we looked at firefighter themed birthday party plates , napkins, and decorations on the internet (after I had given a resounding "no" to all of the over-commercialized licensed character party themes we saw). We talked about our plans. I went to nurse ds (almost 1) down to sleep, thinking how proud I was of a daughter who could choose her own interests independent of stereotypes, and she and Papa continued to make plans. When I came back, I was a little disappointed to discover she had changed her mind and was considering ponies or princesses (ugh. again. We did princesses last year).



My daughter is interested in both the stereotypical "boy" things and the stereotypical "girl" things. Mostly things weigh a little more in the princess direction, though I refuse to buy anything commercialized (no Disney princesses, no Barbie, etc, and she knows it. I told her it gives girls the wrong idea about what they should be like). I do buy her frilly, lacy, pink stuff when she wants it and go out of my way to find and make cool stuff that is not commercialized as well as princess stories that have a feminist slant).



As much as I say, though, that I want to encourage her interests, whatever they may be, I get a little excited every time she chooses something that is stereotypically "boy". I guess I think somewhere that when she chooses mostly princesses and frills, that she has been told she should do that because she's a girl, but when she chooses fire engines and trains, she must be choosing her own interests. Even though she's never been to school, doesn't watch television, and most of the other kids she is around a lot are encouraged to follow their own interests, she is picking up on the stereotypes. I just hope she has the strength to follow her own dreams and not let society sway her. If she ultimately chooses more stereotypical "girl" stuff, I hope it will be because she wants to and not because she feels that is what is given to her.